The First Test (To Fight or Not Fight)

I dread the day that my hubby and I would start to bicker and fight as many married couples do. Hubby and I haven’t had a big fight ever… not in our almost 4 years relationship before we married... we just get along so well. We are 4 months into our marriage, and admittedly still on honeymoon stage. So it scares me to think of how I’ll be able to handle a big conflict with him.

I honestly thought the Louvre accident (pls. refer to previous blog - Bonjour! Au Revoir!) was going be the cause of our first big fight. I admit it was mostly my fault, but I never wanted it to happen. It would set us back by roughly $2000, and for a currently non-earning wife like me, it adds up to my guilt.

I was just waiting for him to sigh and say the words “Ikaw kasi… yan kasi.. hay naku..” (blaming words), and I know I deserve it. But I didn’t hear anything like that. He just assured me that “It’s ok, it was just an accident… Just be careful next time...”   

The service center just called him now to inform that the camera's beyond repair, but my hubby’s still sticking to his same words “it’s ok, it was just an accident”. He never brings it up again unless I’m the one who mentions it, and everytime, he just assures me that it’s ok and smiles coz I'm fussing too much about it.

I’m very thankful that he’s my husband coz I know most guys wouldn’t react the same way. I know some of my friends’ boyfriends would blow their tops over the tiniest things. If they were married already and this had happened to them, maybe they would what, strangle them? Hehe… I guess we partly owe this too, to the seminar we attended before (where we met). One of the learnings we had was to never say anything offensive to our loved ones, words that would emotionally hurt the person’s being.  And we were taught of the best ways to argue (yup there’s such!). J

It reminded me of the facilitator’s example… One time, his 3-year old daughter unintentionally broke her dinner plate… The little girl felt bad that she broke it.. He said, yelling at her would do nothing but to hurt her more emotionally. “I can still buy a new plate, but if I yell at her, I won’t be able to pay to take back my words and fix her broken heart”.

I know $2000 isn’t a joke… and I ain’t 3 years old. I know the accident is mostly my fault and my guilt is haunting me. But if my hubby had chosen to blame me and had said hurtful words or accused me of being so clumsy, irresponsible, etc... I would have felt worse. I would have defended myself. And he would answer back, and naturally, I'd fight back. And the issue would be brought up over and over again, or just buried - unresolved. A cycle of emotional blackmail… Thank God the match wasn’t lit. The big fight didn’t happen.

Everyday I seem to realize more and more that the man I married is so much like my dad. This just means one thing --- I’m in great hands. J 

Thank you hubby for understanding and for keeping your patience. Thank you Lord for my wonderful husband. And I guess I thank myself for making a great choice. J